Why I will never recommend sleep training
In our society, there is a common belief that infants should sleep through the night. As a new mother, I often faced questions like, "Is she sleeping through the night?" or "Is she a good baby?" However, it's important to understand that waking up multiple times during the night for breastfeeding is a normal biological behavior for infants, ensuring they receive essential nutrients and remain safe from SIDS.
They are not manipulating or conspiring against us; they are not little evil geniuses.
The sleep training industry is a multi-million dollar industry preying on the vulnerable, though studies have shown that methods like "cry it out" can leave infants feeling helpless and stressed, affecting their physical and mental development due to their high levels of cortisol. We are not teaching them to sleep but rather that no one is coming no matter how hard or long they cry.
Despite attempts at sleep training, infants of parents who follow these methods do not necessarily sleep longer or wake less during the night.
As parents, our role is to create a nurturing environment that promotes sleep as best as we can. We can use many methods of sleep promotion such as white noise, a darkened, quiet room with the perfect temperature for a comfortable, dry, and well-fed infant and still have them refusing sleep. We can rock, sway, and pat for what feels like eternity and, you guessed it, still have an infant not prepared to sleep.
Factors like developmental changes, illness, teething, and environmental factors can affect an infant's sleep patterns.
It's important to remember that it's not your fault if your infant struggles to sleep, and you don't have to follow societal pressure to sleep train or teach them to "self-soothe."
I am forever preaching to my clients that this is normal infant behavior and one thing that I can assure them is that this is not a forever thing. One day you will look back and yearn for the nights of swaying, rocking, and patting as in these times you and your infant were what felt like all alone in the world, just the two of you sharing the warmth and closeness of each other during those special feeding snuggles.
No matter the reason your infant is refusing sleep, know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. It isn’t your job to teach them how to sleep or “self-soothe.” Please try to block out all the overpowering, conflicting advice causing you such self-doubt.
One day your infant, who is more likely now a child, will sleep through the night and settle with ease, no encouragement needed.
If you do need a hand with sleep and settling, know that my advice and techniques are very holistic, hands-on, and gentle. A strict routine, abrupt weaning, and non-responsive methods will never ever be seen or heard of! Instead, I encourage you to go with it, make a warm cuppa, and be still in this busy world of ours.
Focus on the positives like the way your little one gazes up at you as they feed with all the love one can possibly have for another.
There will be challenging nights, but it's essential to be responsive to your infant's needs. Offering comfort through breastfeeding and gentle measures can help both of you find calm and prepare for a restful night.
Embracing this temporary phase of sleep struggles allows you to cherish the moments with your little one and provide the support they need during difficult times.
